Sunday May 11th, 2008 Fiction for Mothers Day

As a mother with a full-time job outside of the home, I strive to achieve balance in my life. To me, this means finding time to do the things I want to do, in addition to the daily chores, organization and play time of motherhood, time spent nurturing my relationship with my husband, and the obligations of my professional life. Because time to myself is often elusive, I have spent some time considering what exactly it is I want to do. One of the things I want to do is read.

Ironically, perhaps, when I read, I often read about people like myself – mothers trying to get it right. Maybe it’s part of the sisterhood of motherhood idea – and how it’s always good to know you’re not going through something alone. Or maybe it’s because in comparison to the women in the books I read, my life isn’t really all that complicated. Here are some books about mothers that I have enjoyed.

Friday Nights by Joanna Trollope

I admit I was attracted to this author because we share the same first name! I have continued to read her books because I enjoy the stories of contemporary English life, which are just a bit “deeper” than chick lit, although they still have that fun, light quality. “Friday Nights” is the tale of a group of women and their families brought together by a single, older woman, Eleanor, who sets out to create a life in retirement following a busy career in social service. The story begins when Eleanor invites two young single moms, who she has watched walk up and down her street with their children, over to her house on a Friday night. The small group grows as the women invite other friends along, and the older woman becomes like an anchor of common sense in their tumultuous, intertwined lives.

I don’t know how she does it: The life of Kate Reddy, Working Mother by Allison Pearson

I read this book when I was pregnant, and it gave me a sense of how motherhood is about figuring things out, and discovering what works for you. Kate is a very high powered business woman who has two very young children. Her life takes the work/life balance issue to the extreme. She goes to great lengths to appear as the consummate professional, and as the perfect mother. One memorable scene in the book involves Kate distressing some store-bought mince-pies (ie. hitting them with a rolling pin), so they will look home-made for the school bake sale. She even hides the packaging so her nanny won’t tell the other nannies her secret. This tale gave me some insight in to the kind of working mother I did NOT want to be!

Little Earthquakes: A Novel by Jennifer Weiner

This story brings together three mothers who meet in pre-natal yoga class. They all have very different lives, and very different ideas about the types of mothers they want to be. It is fascinating to watch how their careful plans unravel, and how they band together to be the best mothers they can for their children. This book helped me realize that the “earthquakes” are going to happen, and often you need help from friends to survive them.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

This book is like the women’s companion to the Old Testament. It tells the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob, sister of Joseph. I was reluctant to read this thick work of Biblical fiction, but, was completely drawn in by the incredible women and their network of supportive relationships. The centre of the women’s lives is the red tent, which is an oasis of “girl power” in their man-centric world. The red tent is where the women go to remove themselves from the males when they are menstruating, pregnant or ill. The red tent is more than a refuge, the women do go there to rest and heal, but they also go there to learn, gossip, laugh and bond. They care for each other’s children, who benefit from the collective knowledge and love of all the women. The red tent symbolizes and nurtures the power of women. This book left me wanting to resurrect the tradition of the red tent, and helped me identify the value of supportive women in my life.

Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neill

This is a disturbing, engaging story about a motherless young girl, Baby, coming of age on the streets of Montreal. She manages to struggle through, and helps her drug-addict father steer them both in a new direction. The absence of a mother in Baby’s life shapes it significantly as she searches for comfort, love and joy. This book made me think about what my son’s life would be like without me, and how, although I’m far from perfect, it’s good for him to have me, and for me to have him.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – may you be content with your choices, and find time to do the things that make YOU happy!

Joanna Aegard, Head of Virtual Library Services, Thunder Bay Public Library